Description
>> FOR WHEN YOU NEED YOUR COFFEE BEFORE YOU CAN DEAL WITH… PEOPLE. <<
You know the moment. The alarm screams. The notifications pile up. Someone’s already pinging you on Slack or Teams. Your inbox looks like a warzone. You haven’t even opened your eyes yet, and the world is already asking you for things.
Not yet. Not until the mug is empty.
The Rabbit-Labs FUCKOFFEE Mug is your daily declaration of pre-caffeination boundaries, featuring the angriest rabbit in the lab: suited up, tied off in purple, and throwing double birds at anyone foolish enough to approach before the first cup is finished.
This is an 11 oz white ceramic mug with a full-color, high-resolution sublimation print that wraps the artwork permanently into the glaze. The design won’t fade, peel, chip, or wash off. It’ll outlast your patience.
The message is simple. The rabbit said it so you don’t have to. Pour your coffee, wrap your hands around it, and let the mug do the talking until you’re ready to rejoin society.
Perfect for: your desk, your workbench, your morning standup that could have been an email, your home lab at 2 AM, or as a gift for that one person in your life who is absolutely not a morning person and wants the entire world to know it.
Handle with attitude. Sip with intent.
▌README.TXT – CARE INSTRUCTIONS
Using Your FUCKOFFEE Mug: Fill with coffee. Or tea. Or whatever gets you functional. That’s it. You don’t need instructions for a mug. You need coffee.
Cleaning: Hand-wash recommended with warm water and mild soap for maximum longevity. The sublimation is durable, but the dishwasher’s harsh detergents and high heat cycles will shorten its lifespan over hundreds of washes.
Dishwasher: Can it go in the dishwasher? Yes, it’ll survive. Should it? If you want the rabbit flipping people off for years to come, hand-wash it. Your call.
Microwave: This mug is microwave safe. Reheat your coffee when you get distracted by whatever pulled you away from it in the first place. We’ve all been there.
▌DEBUG LOG – TROUBLESHOOTING
ISSUE: People keep talking to me before I’ve finished my coffee. FIX: Hold the mug higher. Make eye contact. Rotate the mug so the rabbit faces them directly. If they persist, that’s a personnel issue, not a product defect.
ISSUE: Print appears faded after extended use. FIX: Switch to hand-washing. Dishwasher detergents (especially pods with bleaching agents) and the sustained high heat of drying cycles can gradually dull sublimation over time. Hand-wash with mild soap to preserve the artwork. If the mug arrived with a faded or defective print, contact Rabbit-Labs support for a replacement.
ISSUE: Coffee doesn’t taste good. FIX: That’s a coffee problem, not a mug problem. The Rabbit-Labs FUCKOFFEE Mug is chemistry-neutral. It does not alter the flavor of your beverage. Try better beans, cleaner water, or a grind adjustment. The mug believes in you.
ISSUE: Mug arrived broken or cracked. FIX: Contact Rabbit-Labs support immediately. Ceramic is fragile during shipping and occasionally things break in transit. Do not use a cracked or chipped mug, as damaged ceramic can have sharp edges and may shatter under thermal stress. We’ll make it right.
▌SYS.WARN – WARNINGS, HAZARDS & DISCLAIMERS
Caution: Contents May Be Hot. Or Spicy. This mug is designed to hold hot liquids and even hotter opinions. The ceramic body and handle will conduct heat. The artwork will conduct attitude. Use caution when handling a full mug of hot coffee, tea, or other heated beverages. Contents may be bold, bitter, dark, or full-bodied. Just like the rabbit. Allow contents to cool to a safe drinking temperature before consuming. Rabbit-Labs LLC is not responsible for burns, roasts, or hurt feelings.
Fragile Product. This is a ceramic mug. It will break if dropped onto hard surfaces. Handle with reasonable care. Do not use a mug that is cracked, chipped, or otherwise damaged, as sharp ceramic edges may cause injury and the mug may fail under thermal stress.
Explicit Content. This product features explicit language and a crude gesture. It is intended for adult audiences with a sense of humor. Not recommended for use in environments where such content is inappropriate (corporate boardrooms, kindergarten classrooms, court appearances). Or maybe especially those places. You decide. Rabbit-Labs LLC is not responsible for any social, professional, or interpersonal consequences of displaying this mug.
Not Suitable for Children. This product contains adult language. Not intended for users under the age of 18. Keep out of reach of small children, both for the content and because it’s a breakable ceramic object.
Food Safe. This mug is made from food-safe ceramic with a sublimation print sealed into the glaze. It is safe for use with hot and cold beverages. Do not use for storage of non-food liquids (solvents, chemicals, etc.).
Disclaimer. This product is sold “as-is” for personal, decorative, and beverage consumption use. Rabbit-Labs LLC makes no warranty, express or implied, regarding fitness for a particular purpose, emotional regulation, or anger management. Maximum liability shall not exceed the purchase price of the product and one awkward conversation with HR.
© Rabbit-Labs LLC. All rights reserved. The Rabbit-Labs name, logo, and extremely grumpy rabbit are trademarks of Rabbit-Labs LLC.
